


The Remains of Love, Exhumed

by slamncram



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Fix-It, Getting Back Together, M/M, Memories, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 19:42:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20364028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slamncram/pseuds/slamncram
Summary: On a cliff outside New Asgard, Loki tells Thor some truths.





	The Remains of Love, Exhumed

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the _At Dawn_ zine.

“There was a part of me that always knew.”

“Mm.”

The answer is quiet, non-committal, and entirely at home in their private place. Meters away, the ocean crashes against rock, the same way it has for millenia, the reflection of the stars above broken up by the waves. It’s peaceful, and something Thor wasn’t sure they would ever feel again.

He remembers the weight of that. Pressing down on him when he’d come to in the Guardians’ Milano. Following him like a spectre while he’d made his way to Wakanda, only to let it catch him in the moments after Thanos disappeared. A sense of dread, loss, and hopelessness he’d never felt before, and never wanted to again.

Everything after that still comes to him in blurs. Vague memories of the Avengers and their allies attempting to pick up the pieces in the dark of grief until, one by one, they had broken off. Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, and yet they had fallen apart under the weight of their failure, for longer than any of them knows was acceptable.

In the end, so many of them were only human. There was only so much they could be expected to withstand before it all became too much, and Thanos’ victory had been just that.

For a time, at least.

The return of hope, in Thor’s memory, came with flashes of red and blue, and a firm voice telling him she’d heard he was a _God_, shouldn’t he be doing something, rather than sitting around, wallowing in his grief?

At the time, Thor had disliked Carol quite a lot for that. Now, he knows she was right.

“What’s ‘mm’?”

“Just ‘mm’, why does it have to be anything else?”

“Because we’re supposed to be working on this, and Norns know you’ll happily keep tight-lipped until you decide it’s a good time to let the festering annoyance burst out, and then I’ll end up stabbed or something!”

Carol had come in with the kind of energy and spirit they had needed. Motivated them, gotten them going. Helped all of them, but Thor, especially, to find a way to take Thanos’ victory away from him, and correct all the wrongs that had come as a consequence of it. They had forced events of their own design, and stolen his success from under the Titan. In the process, they had reversed all of it. The snap, returning billions to life, and all the deaths that had happened at Thanos’ hand.

It meant that, now, Heimdall stood watch over New Asgardia, with a little fan club of his own, an off-shoot of the one that had cropped up after the Battle of New York. Brunnhilde led a new squadron of Valkyrie warriors, tasked with protecting their new home, the same as the Dora Milaje protected Wakanda.

It meant that Loki was back at Thor’s side, as he’d always hoped his brother would be. Alive, cunning, and, most importantly, _his_.

“I haven’t stabbed you in literal _years_, Thor.”

“Aye. Means you’re long overdue for it.”

Loki’s return had been joyous for Thor, but his heart had ached for a long, long while. New Asgardia had needed fighting for, and, after that, had needed to be build. Their people had been welcome in Wakanda, and Loki was among them, but Thor’s diplomatic duties as King had taken him away, to places where Loki, the once tormentor of Earth, was not welcome.

Between knowing that Thor was fighting for his existence with the rest of the Asgardians, and reliving whatever it was he’d gone through while he’d been _dead_, Loki hadn’t been himself. There had been a melancholy and quiet about him that had hurt Thor’s heart in a way different from the grief his loss had caused.

He’d had Loki back, but only in physical form. When they’d won the case for New Asgardia, and for Loki’s right to stay as part of it, the rest of the Avengers had been quick to help. Tony and T’Challa had given money and supplies, and the others had given their manual labour. It hadn’t been missed among them that while they worked, the Prince of Asgard spent most of his days sitting on the cliffside outside the new city’s borders, staring into the sea. Perhaps there would have been more complaint about it, had Loki’s returns in the evenings not consisted of him using his magic to single-handedly finish the construction of whatever building they had been toiling over, before he’d trudged back to the villa they were calling the new palace, and collapsed into a deep sleep.

It had been depression. The lack of understanding, and acceptance, of what had happened to him. The last time Loki had been ‘dead’, it had been a ruse. The first time Thor had believed that to be his fate, he’d actually fallen through a wormhole into Thanos’ clutches. Thor had no doubt that the latter was unpleasant, but the fact that Loki had really and truly _died_ at the Mad Titan’s hand had clearly taken a mental toll on him.

Thor had started his days, for weeks, by walking out to the cliff after Loki, sitting with him, and reminding him he was there for his brother. More than anything, he’d wanted to pull Loki into his arms, kiss his face, shower him with love and affection and _demand_ he talk to him, _order_ that he air his grievances.

But, Thor had learned, over the years. That wasn’t what would get Loki to open up, unless Thor was looking for him to open up a wound in his side with one of his beloved blades. He’d also taken the chance to sit and talk with Gamora and Nebula.

Nebula hadn’t said much. Simply that Thanos was cruel, and the marks he left were never beautiful or easy to deal with.

Gamora had said more. She’d dealt with the aftermath of coming back, herself. She still was. Not once had she gone into detail with Thor about what horror she’d suffered, dying at her so-called ‘father’s’ had, but he knew enough to know it had been traumatic. Terrible. Nothing short of precisely what he expected from Thanos.

But, Gamora had bounced back. She’d dealt with the torture and cruelty of Thanos longer than Thor could know, and she’d had the Guardians, a family that had encouraged open and honest communication, towards _everything_, for some time. They’d been patient with her, and in the end, it had helped. When she’d been ready to talk, like Loki one day would, Gamora had told Thor that it had meant the world to know that Peter and the others were there. Because they had made sure, every day, that she knew it.

Thor had done the same with Loki, and one morning a few weeks past, it had paid off.

“Is that all you’re going to say?”

“Is that all _you’re_ going to say?”

Thor had woken to his mattress dipping, and Loki slipping into bed behind him. Loki had been quiet, his cool fingers running over Thor’s back, tracing scars, old and new, from Thor’s long life, before he’d slid that arm around Thor’s waist and pulled himself against him, his breath warm when he’d spoken, when he’d thanked Thor for his patience, and said he was ready to talk. That morning, Thor had seen Loki smile for the first time since he’d come back to life, and he’d been endeavouring to see it every day since.

He hadn’t missed a day, yet.

“It’s only going to make you more angry, and he’s _dead_ now, Thor. There’s no sense in it.”

“You forget that I have a direct line to our dear sister, now. If I have grievances with the dead, I can give her a call, and ask if she’d like to take out her anger on a more deserving target.”

Night after night, now, they came out to the cliffside together. Loki had made an effort to be more of a presence during the daylight hours, while they’d worked, and it had been highly appreciated. Buildings came up faster when the God of Mischief used his seidr for good, and Loki being around and _helping_ was doing wonders for his reputation with the Avengers. Bruce had already advocated for him to the others, but it was good for them to see him doing something _good_.

In time, perhaps Thor would tell them what Loki was telling him, tonight. They’d come out here to the ocean and stars, hours ago, and now, laid back on the wool blanket they’d brought along, Loki was sharing more truths. For someone who had always been so secretive, Thor knew it meant their relationship was truly on the mend.

He wasn’t keen to be happy with only small morsels.

“That’s a gross misuse of Hela’s better attitude toward us, and you know it.”

“Stop trying to change the subject.” Thor smiled, turning his head on the blanket to look over at Loki. The stars were reflected in his eyes when he rolled them, but Thor pressed on. “Tell me more than that.”

“Thanos gave me the mind stone.” Loki repeated. “I think that says enough.”

“I want to hear it from you. Talk it out. Get it off your chest.”

Loki made a sound of exasperation next to him, and for a few long seconds, Thor worried he was about to storm off, annoyed with Thor pushing. Doing the exact thing Gamora had warned against.

“The mind stone. It didn’t _control_ me, but it certainly made it a lot easier for me not to control myself.” Loki said, the words coming out in a rush, quieting to a near-whisper by the time he finished. “I was angry, and I was hurt, and all it did was find that and amplify it. I’m not saying that I wouldn’t have gone after your little friends...”

“But you may have been less vicious about it than you were, had it not been in your hands.”

Loki sighed.

“Had you not been afraid.”

At that, Loki lifted himself off the ground, rolling onto his side, propped up on his elbow so he could look down at Thor. Even in just the light from the stars, Thor could see the fear in his eyes. The fear of being known, of his weaknesses being laid bare.

“I know he tortured you, Loki. I have no illusions that you fell into Thanos’ hands and enjoyed the same sort of luxuries you enjoyed on Sakaar.”

“_Sakaar_ was cutthroat, and I was doing what I needed to survive and secure a place of significant power enough to--”

Thor laughed, reaching up to push Loki’s hair back behind his ear. He’d trimmed it, since the morning he’d slipped into Thor’s bed, and it constantly fell in front of his face now, sleek and soft. “You don’t need to explain it to me. I know your reasons, little snake.”

Gently, he laid his palm against Loki’s cheek, feeling his heart swell when Loki leaned into it.

“You made your choices. Your circumstances... influenced them. Made them worse than I think you may have done on your own. It doesn’t absolve you.”

“I know.” Loki whispered, his eyes closed.

“But there’s a part of me that’s always known. Because I know you.”

Loki’s hand covered Thor’s.

“My friend.”

Loki turned his face, his lips pressing against Thor’s palm, eyes opening. Bright, clear, knowing. The eyes that Thor had known for centuries.

“My brother.”

Thor felt Loki’s smile against his skin, watched while his eyes closed again, and moved his hand, shifting it out of Loki’s grasp to slide into his hair and pull the other down.

His lips pressed to Loki’s forehead.

“My prince.”

Loki’s hand found his chest, curled against the soft, flannel fabric there, and he lifted his head, knowing what Thor sought. The waves were crashing against the rocks below in time with the beating of his heart when Loki pressed a soft kiss to his lips, drawing back to hear the rest.

“My love.” Thor murmured, lips brushing against Loki’s.

This time, when Loki kissed him, Thor let the two of them sink into it, revelling in the warmth of the love they’d rekindled, while the stars shone above their heads.

In the morning, there would be more to be built, a city to be run, responsibilities they would shoulder together, but tonight, there was only them.

Nights like these were still new, and Thor cherished them, because for the first time since he’d watched Loki die, he was in no hurry to see the sunrise.

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me about Thorki, this fic, and other assorted nonsense on Twitter, [@slamncram](http://twitter.com/slamncram)!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
